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Do Bangs Make Me More Bangable?

Between quarantine and a recent breakup, I’ve been all too eager to elevate my appearance. I got a new tattoo; I have even chopped some inches off and gone back to blonde, all under the guidance of my trusted hairstylist. But lately, I’ve been thinking of doing something a little more drastic. A little bigger, a little bolder. I’m starting to sound like a Taco Bell commercial. I guess you really are what you eat. Back to the matter at hand—the big, drastic appearance change I’ve been thinking of taking is, you guessed it, getting bangs.

Now I know getting bangs doesn’t sounds drastic for many of you, but I have quite the history with bangs. I had bangs when I was really young for quite some time. The only reason I know this is from photos, as I’ve blocked out most of my childhood (thanks, trauma). As I grew older, the bangs grew out and I didn’t get them again until I was in middle school. This is where things went horribly wrong. I used an image of Tyra Banks with thick, blunt bangs as reference. Disclaimer: I am very white and my hair was not that thick, so I don’t know why my mom or the hairstylist thought that Tyra’s bangs could be replicated on my own head of hair. I came home and cried for hours because they looked so bad. I’m also 90% sure I did this right before picture day, so let this be your lesson to never dramatically change your ‘do before you have photos taken.

After that experience, I let my bangs grow out and they became these long side bangs I’d terribly trim at home. So any time I think of getting bangs, I have terrible war flashbacks. Another thing I was (unfortunately) concerned about is how well they’d be perceived by potential suitors. I’ve been back on those dreaded apps for a week or so now and I was curious if getting bangs would turn away new matches. Listen, I know I shouldn’t be this concerned over my appearance but I am. It’s not enjoyable, but it’s where I’m at right now.

While mulling over the idea of getting bangs, an interesting question popped into my head: Do bangs make me more bangable? It was then I knew I had to test this theory and I knew the cishet men of Tinder wouldn’t let me down. Because I was still too timid to get actual bangs, I ordered a pair of clip-ins from Insert Name Here. They were their Selena bangs in Honey, in case you were wondering.

Once they arrived, I was eager to clip them in. I was surprised how well they matched, because I didn’t entirely trust myself when I chose the shade I did. Still, I wasn’t a fan of how I looked in the bangs. And I surely didn’t like my appearance after seeing myself in photos. But I wanted to know if bangs made me more bangable, so I stuck it out.

The first person I reached out to was this guy on Snapchat who I have a long and complicated history with. Feel free to reach out if you want to learn more. I sent him a snap with the bangs fastened onto the top of my head and inquired as to whether or not I looked more bangable with them. He said, “Sure, but you’re always hot.” Which didn’t really answer the question, but was a great ego boost.

Snapchat that asks if I look more bangable with bangs
(Photo courtesy of yours truly)

Then came asking the men of Tinder. I needed more input to bette understand how I would be perceived by them if I did actually have bangs. I knew what I was getting myself into when I did this, yet somehow I wasn’t entirely prepared for their responses. There were many vulgar comments made about the bangs, ones I wish I didn’t read. Some needed to see different styles of bangs to know for sure, which is fair, but also too much work. A handful said it didn’t matter if I had bangs or didn’t. And almost all of them tried to meet up in person to put this theory to the test. Full disclosure I did not meet up with a single man who responded. That is certainly not something I was willing to do for the sake of this article, so sorry if you’re feeling a bit disappointed right now. Honestly, the messages were a lot. But I did think I determined I looked more banagable with bangs, at least according to the men I matched with on Tinder. That being said, I didn’t feel more bangable. Honestly, I’m glad I tested out the clip-ins before getting bangs, because I don’t think I want bangs anymore. I just didn’t feel as confident in them as I was hoping. Maybe I need to try more styles? Honestly, even dealing with the clip-ins was more effort and I imagine having actual bangs would be an even bigger pain. So for now, I think I’m good without the bangs. I also think I’m taking a break from Tinder, at least until I sanitize every inch of my body, including my eyeballs, and maybe even my phone.

Thinking about getting bangs yourself? Before you make the chop, discover the best bangs for your face shape HERE!

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